Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
