Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
