I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
