Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
