can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
