You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
