try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
