I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
