I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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