ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
