I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize