I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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