i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize