New low: just hacked my moms facebook
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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