I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Randomize
