it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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