is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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