why didn't you poke me back
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
