I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
