dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
