This is not my ceiling
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
