At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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