moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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