I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
