You just made me feel so damn special
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
