he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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