But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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