Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
