Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
where am i from again
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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