I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize