Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
