Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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