Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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