I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize