bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
