left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
