Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
