Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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