I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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