i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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