Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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