she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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