Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
