i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
