Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Why is your signature on my underwear?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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