I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
