Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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