I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
