lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
