how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
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Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
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Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.