Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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