dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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