no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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