Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
