hotel room ftw
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
