remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are two peas in an std pod
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize