I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
True but thats because hes a fetus.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
