5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
