The maid of honor just puked.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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