You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
