I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You did what with his pubic hair?
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