I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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