I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
