No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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