my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize