Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
