on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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