it wasn't lemon gatorade
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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