I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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