direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
The police scanner is talking about you again....
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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