We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
